IMAGINE being in a close relationship with a partner who controls who you see, when you see them...even decisions on fine details including the colour of your nails.

This type of coercive and controlling behaviour can destroy self confidence.

For Emma, 40, from Essex, it left her feeling worthless.

Emma, whose identity is being protected, said she never realised the extent of her former partner’s controlling and abusive behaviour until she began talking to friends and the police.

Lifting the lid on life in a controlling relationship, Emma said the man was “jealous by nature”.

Emma said her partner would control where she was going, who she saw, and even what colour her nails were.

She said: “The physical side was quite obvious, I knew it was wrong, I knew it shouldn’t be happening, but you end up putting up with it.

“It was the mental side of it that I didn’t realise was happening throughout the relationship.

“It was only after that I started to talk about it with the police and friends and family that I realised the mental abuse had been going on throughout the whole time.

“Part of that mental abuse is probably why you end up suffering through physical abuse as well. You end up getting so beaten down, you feel so worthless that you put up with it, you think that’s OK.”

Emma’s partner was jailed for six years after admitting causing grievous bodily harm in 2017.

Emma’s story comes as Roger Hirst, Police, Fire and Crime Commissioner for Essex, secured £213,000 in Government funding to help “break the cycle” of domestic abuse in the county.

The £213,000 secured by Essex Police is set to help perpetrator change programmes such as the Change Hub, based in Southend.

The project offers a range of interventions for perpetrators which are delivered in one-to-one settings at community venues, and also group work programmes for self-improvement.

The project also signposts clients to other agencies which may be able to support them further.

Jane Gardner, Essex deputy police, fire and crime commissioner, said: “Thanks to the great work of projects run by the Change Hub, people are getting help to change their ways. Obviously and rightly, anybody convicted of domestic abuse must face criminal consequences.

“However, sometimes people may recognise those early warning signs and can get help, through targeted interventions to change their ways and stop them from becoming abusers. Breaking the cycle of domestic abuse and preventing it from happening in the first place is where we want to be.”

The Met has also recognised a trend between football matches and a rise in domestic abuse.

Met Police Commander Melanie Dales said extra resources are deployed for large sporting events to deal with a “spike” in cases.

She added: “What we do in those cases is we make sure we have extra teams working with our partnership agencies to make sure we can refer appropriately.”

She said a spike in abuse cases could be seen when people are “under pressure”, increasing the chances of developing “severe obsession” with a partner.